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The work of alchemy, the opus as the alchemists called it in Latin, was what most people associated with the effort to change base metals into gold. Yet others saw that the alchemists’ work was less of a recipe for material transformation of everyday outer world things and had more to do with an inner quest for personal transformation. In the gay community today, ever increasing numbers of gay men are undertaking just that, a search for an immutable golden center found located within themselves.
“Gay men want to explore why we are here, and what we’re all about. They’re looking for a renewal of spirit, to heal old wounds and, with that, the ability to realize more from our lives than what we were told it was supposed to be about.” So says Paul Chirumbolo, a Los Angeles-based psychotherapist. He adds, “The world is full of people that have stopped listening to themselves, or who listen only to others to learn how they ought to behave, or what the values are that they should be living for. For gay people in particular, this describes a large part of our experience of growing up. As a result, the blueprint that informed our lives often has more to do with the negative beliefs and stereotypes that we absorbed, imprints that equated gay identity with being weird, bad or wrong – even before we had any inkling other guys turn us on! This patterning became deeply embedded and predisposes us to certain attitudes, to how we perceive ourselves, and how we relate to the world. We go on repeating these patterns over and over again. Look at the thousands of gay men flocking to the party circuit. Sure, it’s lots of fun, but it often crosses the line into an artificial intimacy with not a whole lot of purpose other than to maybe get laid. Don’t get me wrong. I’m as sexual as anyone else, but it’s sometimes very destructive, evidenced by a near epidemic wave of alcohol and drug abuse in our community, a wave that many can’t seem to swim free of. We have to purposefully set out to erase the blueprint to make room for something else.”
Chirumbolo has been exploring eastern and western psychospiritual traditions for the past 24 years. An initiated yogi, he received shaktipat initiation according to practices of the Siddha Yoga lineage. He has also lived and trained with Native healers of both North and South America. “The practices I learned from my mentors create the means to erase those blueprints. They work to help you step out of time and into more of a sacred space in which the change-making process is quickened. I use the analogy of a snake shedding its skin. In western psychology, we go about this process by peeling off one scale at a time. With more traditional non-western approaches the old skin can be stripped away in its entirety, leaving only the here and now. It’s not that the past magically disappears but, at the very deepest of levels, a shift begins to occur and the old patterning no longer defines who we are. With that comes the freedom to envision something else. For gay people, it creates the means to reinvent ourselves in a more authentic image of ourselves - an image that many of us had never before imagined.”
An openly gay man himself, Chirumbolo has been offering workshops since 1988. He is the author of The Gay Studies Series, is at work on a long-term project entitled The Gay Tarot, and he has authored numerous other essays and articles related to the psychospiritual history and mythologies of gay people. “Some people call this a gay spirit or we go off for spirit warrior weekends, and that’s good. When you begin to clear away the clutter – get beyond the issues of what it’s been like to grow up gay in a non-gay world - what you find is that gay people begin to open up, and when that happens, like a genie set loose from his bottle, the darndest things start popping out.”
Beginning in 2002, Chirumbolo teamed up with Ron Kaczor to begin offering “Gay Soul Making” workshops in the Arizona desert. Kaczor is proprietor of the Cave Creek Mistress Mine and Wellness Center, located just north of Phoenix. He is an ordained Buddhist, a philosopher, and private tour guide. He is also an adopted relative within the Navaho nation and has a deep interest in and respect for Native American spirituality. Kaczor says, “In Native cultures, it’s all about finding out who you are, going into the depths of your person, including finding the beauty of who and what you are as a gay person – what many Native people would call a Two-Spirit - and honoring that as a source. Gay people have a particular sensitivity, and it’s worth exploring.”
Bounded by the Tonto National Forest, the Mistress Mine is an ideal setting to do this kind of exploring. A gold mine and rock shop, it’s also a school of herbology and an alternative wellness retreat, set on 40 acres overlooking a vista of desert hilltops. More than that, however, it sits on the divide where two different temperate zones meet. To the south is the Sonoran Desert, what is seen in Native tradition as the “male” side of nature’s equation. The northern slopes face pine and Juniper forests, or what is called the “feminine.” Kaczor explains, “To Native people, this land is a direct representation of the balance of male and female energy.” He relates how when he took over, he had three Native American elders visit. “They told me I had a responsibility as the steward of this land because of its place in gay history, according to both geography and tradition. ” Tucked into the beauty of the natural surrounds, the center offers rustic accommodations and it is very secluded and private.
Kaczor says, “When Paul first came to the mine, we had never met before, but then he started to do his thing and the magic came to life.” Chirumbolo says it has much to do with the setting itself. “When you’re in such a nature-based setting, off the beaten track, there’s a lot of energy to draw on. The spirit’s alive in all things, and once you break free from the exigencies of modern life, it’s still all there just waiting, ready for you to call on.” He describes the workshop activities themselves as cumulative and progressive, with an emphasis on ritual, ceremony, and experiential encounters. “Throughout the weekend we explore many different parts of what it means to be gay, historical roles and purposes, as well as what that might mean for our lives today. I provide the structure to get things going and then I step out of the way so things can unfold.”
Jeff Williams, a computer progammer who participated in a recent workshop, was enthusiastic about his experience. “I felt as if the entire weekend was designed just for me, to discuss what I was ready to learn and the doors I needed to open. What a wonderful feeling.” Terry Simon, a Phoenix area businessman, left feeling “totally cleansed.” He says, “I've never been to a workshop that left me feeling like this before.” Chirumbolo explains that it is not a psychological or even a spiritual process alone. “It’s equally as much what happens when your physical being is renewed and newly informed. I don't want to get too esoteric. Suffice it to say that it works!"
Workshops are offered during the spring and fall of each year. Kaczor and Chirumbolo each agree that the intent is to not only offer a healing retreat, but also to celebrate kinship and community. “This is a gay place,” Kaczor says. “So smile. Relax and enjoy the hot tub, and know that you are among friends.”
More information on Ron Kaczor and the Cave Creek Mistress Mine and Wellness Center can be found online at www.CCMistressMine.com.
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